Offering It Up

I have been suffering from sciatic nerve pain with this pregnancy. Well, I did with my last one as well, but this is a whole different ball game.

My son has decided his most comfortable position is directly on the nerve causing almost constant pain that shoots down my leg. At times I am barely able to walk. This pain is exacerbated by having to keep up with a very active 14-month-old little girl. Tylenol does nothing. Lying on that side or the opposite brings no relief. The method I used to combat pain with my first pregnancy, sitting with a tennis ball pressing directly on the spot of pain on my back, has actually sometimes made it worse.

This morning, the pain was causing me to involuntarily cry. I couldn't stop. Shelby was playing on the floor, so I was lying down on my side sipping water, crying and trying to play with her as best I could. As I watched her decide which toy to play with next, it hit me.

"God, I'm offering up this pain for all the women who will never be blessed to become mothers. The women who would give up their lives to experience the pain I am in now."

Over and over again, I repeated it like a mantra. Within 2 minutes, the pain began to dull.

A few years ago, doctors were not sure if I would get to become a mother. A birth defect was preventing me from becoming pregnant, and the time we had succeeded, that same defect caused us to lose our baby. And the doctor suspected there may have been other times we had gotten pregnant and just lost our baby before we knew. I was going to have corrective surgery, but there were no guarantees. Six months later, we found out we were having Shelby. I'd like to think that some mother going through pains of pregnancy may have offered up her suffering for women like me. And maybe, my suffering, my faith, will help to ease the pain of another woman who is dealing with the same uncertainty I did.

Thank you God, for the gift of my children. I offer up my suffering for all those going through the pain of being childless.