Hearts of Conversion

We are asked during Lent to allow our hearts to receive a conversion to Jesus. We give things up in order to become more like our savior. We add more prayer. We set a goal for ourselves on our road to salvation.

We also celebrate in the Easter Vigil the conversion of many to our Catholic faith. It is with great joy and celebration that we welcome our new brothers and sisters into the church. My father was a convert in the pre-RCIA days when he and I were baptized together and he was also confirmed. Later, he served as an RCIA sponsor when I was growing up as well as being a Godfather to a few children. So, I view new members of the church with a special tenderness based upon my own experience.

Recently, I've noticed a trend among many of my friends who are more recently joined members of the Catholic Church than I am (having been baptized as an infant and been raised in the Church). Over the last few years when I would engage these people in discussions of lent, I would be amazed at the list of things they were giving up or adding for the season. One friend told me that she was going to add daily mass, all the mysteries of the Rosary every day, the Chaplet of Divine Mercy at 3am and 3 pm, daily readings and bible study 3 times a week. That was a VERY impressive list. In addition, she was giving up all meat (including fish) for the entire 46 days (not taking Sundays off), as well as coffee, all sweets and as much fat as possible. WOW! Two weeks into lent, I ran into this friend again who was feeling dejected because she was drinking coffee again, couldn't get up at 3 am to do the Chaplet and found herself falling asleep at Daily Mass.

After witnessing this crash and burn, I began wondering why so many of my non-cradle Catholic friends approached Lent with such zeal and were so eager to don the sackcloth and ashes. I honestly didn't think it was that they wanted to be holier than thou, so what was it?

After asking a few people I started to piece it together. Everyone, in some way, was saying they wanted to make sure they were "getting it right." They had grown up not understanding why Catholics ate fish on Fridays and would deprive themselves of television for six weeks. They didn't want to make a mistake with this whole lent thing. And then there were a few who flat out had told me that they "needed to make up for lost time." As one said, she had 26 years to make up for. I was sad she felt that way. I think back to last Sunday's reading from Isaiah where God advised that past sins were forgiven and there was no longer a need to atone for them once penance was done. I tried to encourage this woman to not focus on the time she didn't have as a Catholic, but to enjoy the time now. I'm not sure if she understood me though.

Last year, at Ash Wednesday mass, our priest said in his homily that it was important we pick things to add or give up that we actually believe ourselves capable of doing and that would not cause ourselves any harm. He said the key to "dooming oneself to failure" during lent was to choose too many things. After all, Lent only lasts six weeks. He encouraged people to adopt good habits or give up a vice that they might consider adding or leaving even after Lent was over. I saw a few RCIA candidates at that mass eating up the priest's words. I smiled, hoping they would understand it isn't about doing it right or making up for lost time, it's about becoming closer to Christ.

Sacrifice?

Over at Faith and Family Live! they are hosting a collection of meatless recipes. (That's the impetus behind my posting the stuffed pepper recipe). There are some yummy ones there that I recommend trying and I think we will try a few new ones this lent.

I live with a husband who is not Catholic and therefore does not abstain but is more than willing to do more vegetarian meals and fish meals (did I ever mention he is a chef too!). Danielle pointed out that whether you go meatless the whole 40 days and 40 nights, or if you just abstain on Ash Wednesday, Good Friday and the Fridays in between, it's great to try out some new recipes. I got almost giddy reading some of the recipes and the comments and then I saw this comment:

These recipes all sound great. It did make me think though, (not picking on you Danielle) but these meatless meals are supposed to be something of a sacrifice right? Around here, something like Salmon would be an expensive gourmet meal. Our kids are in heaven when we serve any seafood, we have it so rarely. So I guess my question is… Is just meatless enough? Should there be an element of sacrifice to really make it a sacrifice? Am I making any sense? Just musing...not trying to be critical. musing when I should be cleaning or caring for these kids!!

Which begs the question, what is sacrifice? Is it something we can define for all people equally?

Sacrifice is going to be defined differently by all of us, especially where dietary concerns come up.
For the commenter, clearly cooking any kind of fish is a luxury above beef so, for her and her family, they should go completely meatless including fish. But does that mean everyone should?
I live near the coast where seafood is fresh and often inexpensive depending on what you are getting. And local grocers sell seafood at a deep discount during lent. Sure, they are capitalizing on our religion, but in these times when prices are going up, up, up, it does make sense to save a few pennies that can go to Operation Rice Bowl or another Catholic charity. Even wild-raised Pacific salmon is less expensive than beef or even chicken sometimes around lent.

To say that there should be an element of sacrifice is true, but we cannot decide for others what is or is not a sacrifice for them and their family. For a well-off family that eats steak 3 nights a week, giving that up for a couple of seafood meals does contain an element of sacrifice. It may not be evident to someone who lives far from the coast in an area where seafood is the most expensive meat and is making ends meet with a large family and one income; but that does not mean that one family is more pious or sacrificing more than the other. If we really want to demand sacrifice than why doesn't the Vatican decree that all Catholic families consume only brown rice and pinto beans with no seasonings for all meals for all of lent. Does that make us all now equally sacrificing and pious?

While the writer of the above comment says she does not wish to be critical and is only "thinking out loud" she is also not necessarily thinking outside the realms of her own situation. Yes, our country is in a recession right now, but that is not hitting all people equally and so all people's sacrifices may not be equal to some degree. Just as the decision to send kids to public school vs Catholic school vs home school is a decision best left to each individual family, it is no one's business to know if eating salmon in your house is a luxury or a sacrifice.