Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I Always Feel Like...Somebody's Watching Me

This is a blog addressing two issues today.

Issue 1: Why do we blog?
For me, I like to keep my creative juices flowing and writing capabilities up to par. And I delude myself occasionally into thinking that the world around me cares what I think. href="">Lerin's blog where she had to address some hurt feelings regarding her no longer following some blogs. She explained that she felt over-obligated with the following, so she was cutting back. And she was still visiting and reading many blogs, it just didn't feel like sooo much of a priority. It made me think back to a post Danielle had addressing many women's questions about blogging. She made the very valid point that if you were only blogging to get on someone's blogroll or if it was for the validation of seeing comments on your posts, it probably wasn't for the right reasons. I took this to heart. I kept blogging and it was nice to see comments appear, and great to have a proud follower, but it was more important to me to send my thoughts and opinions out into the void so that maybe they would touch someone else. The public nature of comments and following brings with it too the sad realization that your thoughts, no matter how clearly they are articulated can ALWAYS be misinterpreted. Which is why I don't offer any email on this blog and also why I do not always leave comments open and they are always moderated.

Issue 2: There are always people watching me, little people.
Yesterday I lost my temper and swore at the dog. It was embarrassing and regrettable, but then there was the little matter of my one-year-old. Who repeated what I had said. I wasn't prepared for that happening yet. So, the self-censorship begins. As Bill Cosby says, parents have to censor themselves and sometimes when they are angry, it leaves the impression that they are unable to
complete a sentence.


Lynn said...

joey's talking?

Kristen said...

Yes and no. He does say a few words (baby, no, daddy) spontaneously, but he does sometimes repeat us. Like he did the other day which was embarrassing even if no one was there. And when we play with the pop-ups I'll say, "You did it!" after he opens or closes one and he'll say "I did it." sometimes back.